Secondary Grief: What is it, and how can we prevent it?

Death is not a single, static event.

Of course, there is the initial loss, as some define as the “primary loss,” but after this, grief’s effect on an individual can impact numerous areas of their life, ultimately creating multiple losses.

It’s easy to think that our grief is solely the pain of losing the person we cared for so deeply, but our grief is also the pain of subsequent losses resulting from the death. These can be referred to as “secondary losses,” not in the sense that their impact is secondary, but rather that they are a secondary result of the primary loss.

Think, for example, if you decide to purchase a memorial tree to plant your loved one’s ashes in.

A memorial tree can be a beautiful, healing ritual that brings new life to your loved ones remains, and provides you with an outlet of which to nurture your grief. But what happens if your memorial plant does not survive? 

You and your family members may impart a lot of their love and wishes into that tree. It comes to represent the person you lost, and you may form a type of connection or relationship with it, by caring for it, visiting it, or even talking to it sometimes. But if a memorial plant dies, you and your family may experience signs of acute grief all over again. This can cause the feelings of a second loss, another bereavement beginning while the first grief is still being processed. 

Unfortunately, secondary grief is almost inevitable when planting ashes. Cremated remains don’t biodegrade and become part of the soil. Instead, they stay in the ground for many decades, continuing to contaminate the surrounding area. The toxicity within cremated remains mainly arises from their very high pH and extremely high levels of sodium. Cremation ashes contaminate areas beyond where they are placed (imagine the spread of a single droplet of water on a tissue).

So, how can we ever ensure the growth of a memorial tree?

Mixing your loved one’s cremated remains with Let Your Love Grow is a scientifically proven way to ensure the success of your beloved plant.. Let Your Love Grow™ neutralizes the extreme pH and sodium of cremation ashes, and unlocks the organic nutrients found in remains, providing you with the peace of mind you deserve in knowing your memorial plant will be healthy and happy. By mixing your loved one’s cremated remains with Let Your Love Grow™, you create a truly living memorial. Their ashes will fully biodegrade and become part of the environment. Fertilizing new life wherever they are planted.